Wearing the jacket

Dazzled from the start. I had to own this jacket. The only one in the store, none online, only size left, large. Too big, but it didn’t matter. I was going to own this jacket. Did you know that bling makes people smile? Not only could others enjoy the sparkle, but I could too, even though I was wearing it. The entire garment was covered with bling, the front, back, and sleeves. Couldn’t miss the sparkle. The large size worked out. it’s a jacket after all, so you can belt it, tie it like I did, or just leave open. I removed the shoulder pads, so I wouldn’t look like a football player. This jacket had a lining, a workable zipper, looked like construction was done the way a jacket from a good store would be proud to sell. Right?

The time came to wear the jacket, last Saturday, for a dance where we take lessons, Fred Astaire Southport Ballroom. I happened to notice the trail of bling as I walked, It began in my house, spread to my car, into the ballroom, like a huge bling blanket. My shoes were slathered in bling. Tom was too. The ballroom floor never sparkled before; it was beautiful. I began to wonder if I was breathing bling. Here it is Wednesday and I’m still breathing alright, so as far as I can tell, I didn’t ingest any of the shiny stuff.

Anxious to fix the flaky problem, the next morning, the first thing I did was take the jacket outside, shake it, brush it, beat it. All I accomplished was to beat bling all over the slate stoop. We have had rain and wind, but the bling remains stuck to my stoop. One more attempt to tame the bling. I hand washed the jacket in cold water, no soap. I wrung it out as best I could and hung it in the shower. My hands were full of bling, so was the sink, the shower and the hanger.

The Jacket, now limp from washing. Bling falls off as you look at it.

Give it up, I told myself. I placed my gorgeous blingy jacket in a huge art bag and took it back to the store, right to the manager. She was more than happy to give back my money, but she said to please leave the jacket in the bag, she didn’t want the bling all over the floor. I asked if she thought that her high quality store should sell a garment that sheds. She said, “ Of course. We sell millions of these.”

Do you have any fashion disaster stories?

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